Estrangement

Two ways. Different directions. Will they ever meet? Estrangement in families occur for many reasons. Are non-negotiables the same as essentials? What really matters? Unity at all costs tends to eliminate trust. Binary reality.

Binary reality of on and off

Can good and evil coexist? Are life and death direct opposites? Binary reality means there are only two ways. Either the light is on or it is off. Either you are in or you are out. You are either together or apart from each other. No middle ground. Either you are one or the other. You choose death or choose life.

Life is a series of choices. We cannot walk in two different directions at the same time. That is binary reality. One cancels the other. Non-negotiable means no compromise. There is no middle ground to agree. The focus is either life or death. Essentials matter. Life matters. You matter.

New International Version
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?

New Living Translation
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

English Standard Version
“Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?

Berean Standard Bible
Can two walk together without agreeing where to go?

King James Bible
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

There is light or dark. God separated the light from the darkness. He gives life and He takes it away. Murderers hate life. Their disrespect for life means that whatever decisions are made, preservation of human life is essential. Non-negotiation with others whose expressed intent is to kill you is obvious binary reality.

Estrangement is different

Two decide to part ways. God allows divorce. God allows separation. He indicates that the reason is primarily the “hardness of heart.” One side will not budge. One side will not forgive. One side is too bitter and vindictive. One side tends to harbor hurts, deceive intentionally, and betray trust.

All families fight.

For example, if someone in your family says to you, “I do not believe in your mean God!” and you believe that God is kind and gracious, full of mercy and justice, can you have a reasonable conversation? Is bickering about their opinion based on lies helpful?

If they continue repeating, “There is no hell. There is no devil!” can you continue debating on the basis of opinions? The standard is set in the map of the Word of God. God does not need to be defended or debated. Talk all you want. The binary reality of God’s existence remains. Making a god in your own image is fool’s paradise, creating neurosis and psychosis of active resistance against the Holy Spirit, the unpardonable sin.

The unpardondable sin

God wants all people to come to the knowledge of His Son. God gives opportunities for salvation because salvation means “saving and healing” from our own nature. Romans 7:20–25 explains the conflict within the old/new. Who can save us? Who keeps condemning us? Believing the lies of the one who condemns is like swallowing poison. Lies kill. The choice is clear.

“But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.”

Here’s the ultimate non-negotiable. My will versus God’s will. My pride versus my surrender to follow God. My way instead of God’s solution. Since God did not make us puppets, He allows us to mess up the world that He created. He also forgives us and welcomes us back when we choose to repent and turn around to walk on His path. Jesus is our model. He said, “Not My will, but Yours (My Father God) be done.” He gave up His own life to be crucified so that we can live.

Hope for estranged people

Deliverance from the bondage of evil means that there is hope for the other side. Binary reality of good versus evil. Evil is overcome from the outside in. Therefore, believe God from the outside who is calling you, not the old way from within that is estranging you from life.

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Notice that estragement takes many forms in families where different paths are chosen and unity is broken. Some are to protect the truth. Some are to separate from lies and liars, abused and abusers. Some reasons are reasonable. Some reasons are manipulative and manufactured falsehoods.

Immutable characteristics of binary reality

A person’s genetic inheritance, their biological sex, is an immutable characteristic. It is possible to change a person’s outward appearance, including bodily features. No. Humans cannot change sex, which was determined at fertilization (genotype) and during embryonic development (phenotype).

Truth and lies. Truth or lies. Always consider the source. Critical thinking skills are essential and non-negotiable since truth does not walk the same path as lies. Deception thrives on innocent victims.

Victim or victor

Information war abounds. Think for yourself. Each of us is either walking with God or without God. We are accountable. God wants unity, but not at all costs. Binary reality. On/off. In/out. Non-negotiable. We cannot change our gender. That’s a proven fact. We are either alive or we are dead. We choose life or death, obedience to God’s Laws or to Satan’s lies.