Failure Prepares You for the Future
Use or abuse brokenness and tears of regret
Don’t run from your failures. Failure is preparation for the future. How was Peter able to do what he did later? The key to being led was forged on this night of failure. By breaking this stallion, God reveals His methodology. Peter wept. That means he cried and cried and cried. His regret in denying Jesus caused him to stop depending on his own bravado to defend Jesus and to start surrendering to the loving gaze of Jesus.
Judas did not surrender even though his regret led him to suicide by hanging. Loving forgiveness increases hope. Guilt and condemnation does not.
How to know the difference
God convicts. Satan condemns. The difference is based on binary reality. Binary reality language is related to computer programming:
- 0 or 1.
- On or off.
- Yes or no.
There is no “my way” or “on the fence” in between. Every human being chooses the direction, the path, the consequences. Humans are not robots who are preprogrammed. Humans beings are engineered to make choices. Animals do not. Animals live by instinct, their default nature, natural inclinations. As human beings, we, too, can live like animals, living by our natural inclinations and desires. The on/off switch is clear to rise above or fail by choosing who to follow.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”
These words from Romans 8:1–11 are the foundation of the Magna Carta of the Christian way of life.
Three times you’re out
Peter failed once, twice, three times. The cock crowed. Jesus predicted he would fail. Jesus is omniscient. God knows ahead of time where we will fail. God provides a permanent solution. Give up. Surrender to the leading of His Holy Spirit. Peter did not understand what was happening at the time and defaulted to his natural fleshly nature out of fear for his life.
Decades ago I was told by a mental health professional that most people suffering from some sort of mental illness are full of guilt. Regret. Past mistakes. Wrong paths. They may have forgiven others but they cannot forgive themselves. Those negative self-flaggelations, reminders of what you did or said, creep back into your head as you fall asleep. Guilt-ridden accusations are called condemnation. Condemnation is from the evil one. Conviction is from God.
Conviction vs condemnation defined
One of the clearest explanations comes from Vytautas Ratkevičius-Vytas.
Condemnation
The Greek word for “condemnation” is katakrima. It articulates a negative judgment declaration. Damnation is the last thing you want the judge to declare. It would mean you’re separated from the common society and placed aside with a sign of being evil.
Condemnation speaks about you as a person. It shows who you’re are by tagging you “evil”. The opposite of condemnation is justification that tags you as “good”.
Conviction
We can find conviction in John Chapter 16 where Jesus speaks about the Holy Spirit.
And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment… (John 16:8, ESV).
The word “conviction” in Greek is elegchō. It reveals something to be wrong. Conviction doesn’t carry the judgmental aspect. It’s pointing a finger at the problem and without any compromise telling what it is.
While condemnation is pointing at you as a person, conviction points at a wrong action, mindset, or belief. Condemnation shows who you are but conviction points at what you do or think.
Failure defined
Failure is an event, not a person. Challenging the thinking “I am a failure” versus “I failed at fill-in-the-blank” tends to reduce the self-condemnation. Failure is commonly understood as “the lack of achieving a desired outcome or goal.” It is often seen as the opposite of success and can manifest in various aspects of life, in personal relationships, career pursuits, or academic endeavors. The experience of failure can be accompanied by emotions such as disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt, making it a challenging and sometimes painful process to navigate.
In contrast, success is generally perceived as reaching a favorable or prosperous result in a particular undertaking. It is often celebrated and acknowledged for the hard work, dedication, and perseverance that went into achieving a positive outcome. Success can be a source of motivation, inspiration, and fulfillment, serving as a reminder that setbacks and failures are not permanent but rather opportunities for growth and learning.
Fear of failure
Atychiphobia (Fear of Failure) Atychiphobia is an intense fear of failure. It may cause you to put off or avoid any activity or scenario that has the potential for an unsuccessful outcome. Someone with this condition may be scared to try new things, take risks or embrace growth for fear of failure. — Cleveland Clinic
Failure is still a part of success, humanly speaking. Athletic stars know what it means to fail and overcome, like these basketball and hockey stars who express what happens when you can overcome the missed shots.
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games; 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky
Failure analysis
Failure analysis is a whole body of research. Getting to the root cause is a process.
Failure analysts employ various techniques, such as fault-tree analysis, failure modes and effects analysis (FMEA), and Ishikawa “fishbone” diagrams. Different methods use different approaches, but they all aim to identify the fundamental reason for failure by examining the traits and hints left behind.
However, there is a simpler way for the average person. Make a chart by hand, through writing, or on a spreadsheet. That helps to make the obvious obvious. Column headings (fields) bring to light what works and what needs to change.
- Name of Project/Person
- Do differently
- Start doing
- Stop doing
- Keep on doing
Fear of failure
For many individuals, the fear of failure can be paralyzing. It is the apprehension of not achieving your dreams, of falling short in the pursuit of arbitrary goals. This fear can loom large, casting a shadow of doubt and hesitation over even the most ambitious endeavors. The haunting thought of regret can seep into your mind, causing some to second-guess themselves and ultimately hold back from taking the necessary risks to achieve their desires. Lost hope, like Peter. It is in these moments of uncertainty and self-doubt that the fear of failure can wield its strongest influence.
Identify your triggers
Besides not meeting your own expectations, whether realistic or unrealistic, analyze what causes you to feel anxious. When you let people down and do not fulfill their expectations, are you filled with anxiety? When you are late, do you feel unaccepted, foolish as a failure? When you are lost, and cannot find the direction to get to where you are going, do you beat yourself up?
Each of these types of situations create feelings of failure.
“Failure weighs in ounces; regret weighs in tons.”
When we experience setbacks or a significant fall, remember that failure is not permanent. To rise above and succeed, first acknowledge the lessons learned from the fall. Instead of dwelling on the past or being consumed by negative emotions, use failure as a stepping stone towards growth and self-improvement. Break the stallion impulses and surrender to being led by Jesus Christ. Leave the driving to Him!
In order to rise above failure and achieve success, cultivate a growth mindset. This involves viewing challenges as opportunities for development rather than insurmountable obstacles. By embracing failure as a natural part of the learning process, individuals can shift their perspective and approach setbacks with resilience and determination. Resilience is bouncing back from loss, failure, disasters. You are a human being to choose life through the ups and downs.
